I am filled with a vague sort of anticipatory anxiety today.  I think it’s because I had stress dreams last night.  While this isn’t too common for me, I do have my triggers.  (Seriously, generally I’m disgustingly Pollyanna about everything.  Surely this must grate on my friends’ nerves sometimes, when they’re all, “Grump, grump, grump!” and I’m like, “But look!  Glass half-full!”)

So my typical stress dream goes something like this:

I’m in a building of some sort — a hotel, a dorm, sometimes a mall or shopping center (last night it was a mall that later turned into a hotel/dorm).  At any rate, it’s a big building with lots of staircases, or, in the case of the mall, escalators.  The staircases circle around the edge of the building, and there is nothing but big emptiness in the middle.  The stairs have no railings and are steep and shallow.  The escalators are also steep and shallow, and while they have the railings, they are moving slower than the stairs, so that if you put your hands on them, they pull you backwards.

My balance is always precarious, and there’s never anything to hold on to.  I don’t fall during these dreams, but it always feels like I’m one step away from the bottom dropping out from underneath me.  If I do reach level ground, it is only wide enough for one person to walk on, and the edges of the floors are curved down into the emptiness.

That being said, I’m really not that stressed.  I mean, there are things that I’m a little stressed over, but the thing is, it’s all out of my control.  Either everything will come up roses, or it won’t.  If it doesn’t?  Things will be mildly sucky for awhile.  This, too, shall pass.  Whateves, man.  I am zen.

Besides, the stair dreams?  Way better than the pregnancy stress dreams, which I had on a weekly basis when I was getting ready to move here (Moving stress!  ACK!)  Imagine my relief when I realized they were stress dreams, and not indicative of some heretofore subconscious desire to have lots and lots of babies.

The end of the dream started to make a turn into good territory.  I mean, like, good.  Well, it hadn’t gotten good yet, but I have the feeling it was really really about to.  And then when my alarm went off.  Chalk it up to snaps on me courtesy Lords of the Cosmic Jest.

As I was leaving work today, I had the following conversation with a couple of my co-workers:

Supervisor:  You look different today.

Me:  My hair’s up?

Supervisor:  No.  You look…brighter.  Did you meet someone last night?

Me:  Heh.  No.

Supervisor:  Did you discover your first Adult Bookstore?

Me:  No, no.  That ship sailed long ago, my friend.

Coworker:  Oh-ho.  See?  She looks all sweet and innocent…

Me:  Yes.  That’s how I get away with it.